Listen!

I’m learning more and more that listening is one of the most powerful and fundamentals for leadership… If not life! I know that sounds obvious and trivial as listening is often an unconscious choice.

But I’m not talking about simply letting your eardrums be touched by someone or something else’s sound waves.

I’m talking about truly listening to others.

To listen means to be able to hear what others say without distorting that information with our own preconceptions. The dictionary describes it as giving one’s attention to a sound. Thus, it is not merely hearing a sound, it is choosing to respond to what we hear…

And how we respond is what separates a good leader from a great leader. A great leader chooses to hear what is being said without distorting the information with his own preconceptions, and chooses to respond such a way that results in an win/win outcome.

It starts with being uninhabited and open-minded about what others say, and this definitely requires a fundamental attitude of unprejudiced intellectual openness. In other words, listening is the art of genuinely hearing what others say and avoiding hearing what you want to hear. That said, I don’t we can never listen to anybody without some degree of interpretation. But we can choose to see the others point of view, before distorting the issue with ours.

A major trap for any leader is being selfish. Leadership is probable the most selfless task there is, but sadly so many leaders use their God given gifts to serve the big “ME!” It is about how can I use this person to serve myself, how I can use this opportunity to get ahead, who can I blame for what went wrong. The truth is that as leaders we need to use our God given gift to serve the big “WE”… We need to turn selfishness on its head, turn the M on its head to make it a W… It is not about “ME” it is about “WE”. It is about how I can serve those I lead, how I can make a difference in the problems we face, how I can celebrate with the team when we accomplish great things.

One of the easiest ways to understand how we can serve those we lead is by listening. We truly listen, selflessly, we will gain insight into expectations, tools, resources and positive messages. We will discover trains of thought that provide natural links to possible ways we may be about to help. When we listen we receive more information then when we speak.

Another power benefit to listening is connecting. Listening attentively is one of the main ways in which you can connect, validate and empower someone. Listening can only build any relationship, as people react positively when others listen to them attentively.

I’ve heard it said that experts know and speak, but wise people ask and listen. I’m trying to exercise wisdom…

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Don Muller has spent the last 4 years working into corporate and church leadership development and training both locally and internationally. He has a passion for and works towards seeing individuals live out their strengths and calling daily.

Momentum

Momentum.

That's all it takes sometimes. As 2011 began many would have come in with a renewed sense of excitement and intentionality. Its February now and just yesterday someone said to me “It feels like the same again, the same patterns emerge and history repeats itself...”

Momentum seems to be the challenge. You can’t steer a car if its not moving. The wheel will feel heavy and all you really are doing is sitting in one place and wishing you were in another. You have got to go forward. You have got to start. You can steer once you’re moving.

I have said before that the land between insight and action is chaos. What happens is we decide on what we are going to do. Then we arrive at the time when we need to do it and a war goes on in our head. Your old mindset is comfortable and fights the new mindset. Most often the old mindset wins and we retreat to our comfort zones, doing what we have always done and getting what we have always got. A lifetime of this leads to regrets.

What do you most need to do right now?

Some momentum generating ideas.

Realise that leaving a comfort zone is not comfortable.... obviously! The initial resistance you experience is natural and simply needs to be pushed through. It will become easier day by day. Stick to the activities which are uncomfortable for just a little longer and watch what happens. Take the excuses captive.

Ask others to drive the vehicle with you. Often when you need to make changes, knowing that others are with you and keeping you accountable stops you from retreating. Bring someone onboard with your plans today.

If fear is holding you back, ask yourself questions about those fears and shift your perspective on what is possible. Challenge yourself.

Lastly, know that often it is sacrifice that brings reward. As much as you can’t see it now, if you would just stick to the chosen path that is challenging you so much right now, there is something very rewarding waiting a little further down the road, just beyond your horizon.

Get moving.

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Travis Gale has spent the last 5 years running his own development business in South Africa’s corporate world and is currently involved in various long term partnerships with clients across a number of industries. Furthermore he has travelled to conferences internationally hunting down latest trends and insights. Having cycled around the world and survived a tsunami, his passion for crossing borders often lends itself to an interesting blend of stories and insight. He sees himself as a ‘change catalyst’ and displays strength in facilitating insight into the right spaces. Find out more at www.appletreelive.com

Nothing significant happens in isolation

I picked up my bicycle a little while back headed for a ride down to the Durban beachfront. It was early and the weather was obliging with a gentle tail wind and a fresh bite in the air. As I turned onto the beach road I heard another cyclist coming up behind me. My mountain bike, with its off-road tires, often saw road cyclists zipping past with speed. The whiz of the tires and clicking of the chain grew louder. I waited for the cyclist to pass, but instead the cyclist closed in on me and sat on my tail slipstreaming off my effort. As the sun rose I could see 2 shadows riding closely together.

At first I was annoyed! Who was this person simply using me without saying a word? I tried to race away but the cyclist sat on my tail. I tried to ignore it, but I could feel this presence behind me. I was out here to train alone and this was simply getting in my way.

Then something happened. I came to a junction where I knew of a shortcut. I could pull off and lose this person. I didn’t. I kept to the road. When I felt myself starting to slow, I sped up and made sure I maintained a comfortable speed for both of us. My frame of reference had shifted. The fact that there were now two of us was in fact an opportunity. The rider was stretching me to endure longer periods without slacking, maintain good speeds and ultimately get more out of my ride. This was an opportunity. Two riders on the road were always better than one.

In many ways I would say that we are wired for partnerships. There is something beautiful about how we can come together and share our strengths and skills to be more significant. In fact, I have heard it said that your 5 year plan is actually based on the books you read and the people you hang out with!

In my own life I have realised that my moments of ‘independence’ have been stimulated by a few things:

• ego - hung on my point of view
• self esteem - unsure about what others think of me
• doubt - in what I have to offer

Having realised that nothing significant is done in isolation, I continue to ask myself, ‘Who is around me and how am I sharing my life with them?’ if the answer to that questions leaves you realising that you are secluded in the way that you live, I would implore you to seek out effective partnerships on all levels.

The cyclist did eventually pull up on my right. There, on a red cruiser, was a man whose shoulders had bent over with age. His grey hair stuck out from beneath his foam helmet and his thin legs beat down on the peddles with fervor.

“I get a pull whenever I can” he exclaimed, his voice worn out from all his years of talking.
“No Problem” I said “I’m Travis by the way…” with more compassion having seen his age.
“Mike Smith’s the name” he replied.
“How old are you” I asked, slightly rude but I wanted to know!
“76” he said, “I do my 40k every morning!” he proclaimed!

Guess you never know who you will meet and what significance they may have, should you open yourself up to those around you.

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Travis Gale has spent the last 5 years running his own development business in South Africa’s corporate world and is currently involved in various long term partnerships with clients across a number of industries. Furthermore he has travelled to conferences internationally hunting down latest trends and insights. Having cycled around the world and survived a tsunami, his passion for crossing borders often lends itself to an interesting blend of stories and insight. He sees himself as a ‘change catalyst’ and displays strength in facilitating insight into the right spaces. Find out more at www.appletreelive.com

What is?

A while back I was sitting on my colleagues balcony looking out over the ocean. The weather presented a medium to heavy rain, pretty strong winds and all round grey hue, which was the opposite of what I wanted to see and experience on this particular day. Being down the coast, surfboard in the back of the car it would be great for a light SW wind, slightly overcast with patches of sun and a crystal clean swell bringing in perfect peaks! Instead I had to succumb to looking out over the washing machine churning salty sea water in all directions.

At some point during our time on the balcony I turned to my colleague (Liz) and exclaimed “The weather is terrible.” She sat quietly looking out over the sea and then turned to me with some insight which I now call a ‘pearler!’

“What if,” she said, “the weather, rather than being terrible, simply is?”

The weather is? The weather is... the weather is! It made sense straight away.

Liz in a moment was teaching me a valuable life lesson. By saying that the weather was terrible I am instantly creating a label which I associate with being negative. That will determine how I feel and how I act given the state of the weather. In essence then, the environment around me has a direct bearing on how I feel. By saying the weather is I am accepting that this is simply what it is today. This gives me the chance to choose how I will work with the weather. This shift in perspective means the environment can dish out what it wants as I have the choice to enjoy every moment by simply letting go of my own ‘wants’ allowing myself to be present in the NOW and decide from there. It made perfect sense.

I remembered straight away this particular day on cycle tour. We had 191km to do. 30km in we hit this sign. For the next 146.6km we continued to cycle dead straight, not one bend! We could see the trucks coming 10 minutes before they passed us. One can’t actually explain what it feels like to be out in the middle of that ride, feeling absolutely broken and dejected and tired with nothing but a bike, hot water and thousands of Aussie flies. But that IS the situation and the only thing you can do, right there in that moment, is work with what you have. I drank the water and peddled the bike. 13 hours later I was downing a huge coke and a chomping on a massive burger. Satisfying!

Being in the NOW is about working with is around you right there and then. It may allow you to enjoy what you’re experiencing that much more. Or it may encourage you to continue and push through circumstances which are difficult.

Either way, all we have is the NOW - so why not be present and give it all you’ve got?

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Travis Gale has spent the last 5 years running his own development business in South Africa’s corporate world and is currently involved in various long term partnerships with clients across a number of industries. Furthermore he has travelled to conferences internationally hunting down latest trends and insights. Having cycled around the world and survived a tsunami, his passion for crossing borders often lends itself to an interesting blend of stories and insight. He sees himself as a ‘change catalyst’ and displays strength in facilitating insight into the right spaces. Find out more at www.appletreelive.com

Everybody dies but not everybody lives

Everybody dies but not everybody lives
(sticker on unknown SA traveller’s Hilux in Botswana)

Arriving at the Botswana border I saw what is basically every young adventures dream - a converted 4x4 equipped and ready to take on any terrain that was thrown at it. Every piece of equipment needed was attached, from rooftop tents to water containers, two spare tires, jerry cans and even some funky stickers alongside a toy dinosaur (which had the border officials a bit baffled - probably thought he was smuggling lizards!) Then the owner emerged. He was probably in his late 50’s sporting a white beard, a broad smile and joined by his wife. I could see as I spoke to him that his eyes had seen many places, let alone this 5000km journey they were only a day away from completing. He told me about the night his camp was visited by Lions. Then the 150km dangerous drive to Drotsky’s caves in the desert. Not to mention the Caprivi and Namibia escapades.

Turns out his car cost a total of R40 000 and the modifications another R50 000 - thats R90000 for a dream machine that will guarantee adventure and memories! I thought about it. He knew what he wanted. Every weekend for the past few years this man would spend time modifying his vehicle, piece by piece. He would painfully weld, glue, measure and cut his way to living his dreams. Every little addition meant more ability, more comfort, more adventures. His heart was set on what he loved and his actions followed suit. He didn’t speak about about being ‘out there’ - that’s actually where he was. His INTENTIONALITY meant that he lived his dreams. I would love to be one of his grandchildren for a weekend visit!

The point is short term pain leads to long term pleasure. And thats the point - we either live with the pain of discipline (intentionality) or the pain of regret. Imagine a man sitting on a rocking chair empty of adventure because he never started with that first drill into an old Toyota Hilux. Luckily for him, it’s not the case.

What about you?
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Travis Gale has spent the last 5 years running his own development business in South Africa’s corporate world and is currently involved in various long term partnerships with clients across a number of industries. Furthermore he has travelled to conferences internationally hunting down latest trends and insights. Having cycled around the world and survived a tsunami, his passion for crossing borders often lends itself to an interesting blend of stories and insight. He sees himself as a ‘change catalyst’ and displays strength in facilitating insight into the right spaces. Find out more at www.appletreelive.com

Taking in some air

‘It is not about how much air you have, it’s about how you use it!’ Hanli Prinsloo

I recently did a free diving course with Hanli, a world champion freediver, hailing from Cape Town. She taught us about the 3 phases of breath hold as we all stretched ourselves in the pool and out at sea to dive both deeper and longer. The first phase is the ‘feel good’ phase. Your lungs, full of oxygen, feel as though they could last forever. The second phase is the ‘awareness’ phase. Here your body recognizes you’re not breathing and begins to react. It feels uncomfortable and you begin to tense up. Then the 3rd phase begins - the ‘fight’. Now the diaphragm is contracting. You feel as if you are about to die. But you have to push through!

The interesting thing about the fight phase is that the contractions you are experiencing have nothing to do with the amount of O2 you still have left. In fact the body is reading higher CO2 levels and the diaphragm contracts to expel it. You can fight by telling your mind that you do, in fact, have air!

Its the same with insight. It feels good to have those ‘aha’ moments. Reflecting on our new goals, especially around new years brings a sense of positivity as we look ahead to the difference we can make to our lives. As we begin on our new path we reach awareness phase. Your new way of life goes against all the long held habitual patterns you have lived with for so many years, and it begins to hurt. And that is when you must fight!

Fighting is about acting on your insight. Fight with the reality that you do have what it takes to change. All that resistance is simply your sub conscious hanging onto a comfort zone. Those negative thoughts are not true! Every little step you take feels like short term pain. But short term pain leads to long term pleasure - and that is where you want to live.

The amazing thing about breath hold is that it really is all in the mind. Your body has breath. Your mind just needs to hold onto that. You have what it takes to break through the wall of chaos that exists between insight and action. Your mind just needs to hold onto that!

May 2011 be different for you.

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Travis Gale has spent the last 5 years running his own development business in South Africa’s corporate world and is currently involved in various long term partnerships with clients across a number of industries. Furthermore he has travelled to conferences internationally hunting down latest trends and insights. Having cycled around the world and survived a tsunami, his passion for crossing borders often lends itself to an interesting blend of stories and insight. He sees himself as a ‘change catalyst’ and displays strength in facilitating insight into the right spaces. Find out more at www.appletreelive.com

Leadership energy

There is classic mexican proverb that says ‘Whats down in the well, comes up in the bucket’

Many of us, especially at this time of year, could do with a whole heap load more of energy. Our own ‘energy wells’ are depleted leaving us little to draw from. Rather than make new years resolutions that fade away into oblivion, why not rather focus on keeping our energy wells full during 2010? Energy can be broken down into 4 key areas - physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. 2009 has dished out what has been an emotionally & mentally draining year for many. Given these wells are all connected some might find that it has impacted on their physical and spiritual lives as well. So break it down. Which areas need attention? What do you need to do differently in 2010? Each well can be filled with activities that range from 2 minutes to a weekend, but the key is to focus on them daily! Nutrition, sleep, exercise fill the physical. Healthy relationships, positive thoughts fill the emotional well. Learning about something you love fills the mental well. Prayer, walks on the beach, quite time fill the spiritual well. Or find an activity that works across the board, like surfing does for me!

The point is, if you do not fill the well there is nothing to draw from. Unfortunately it is human nature to wait for a crisis before we make a change, but so often it is to late. Energy is not a luxury, it is a necessity. May you be strong enough to put yourself first so that you may contribute not just time, but energy to your families, businesses and ultimately to the world.

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Travis Gale has spent the last 5 years running his own development business in South Africa’s corporate world and is currently involved in various long term partnerships with clients across a number of industries. Furthermore he has travelled to conferences internationally hunting down latest trends and insights. Having cycled around the world and survived a tsunami, his passion for crossing borders often lends itself to an interesting blend of stories and insight. He sees himself as a ‘change catalyst’ and displays strength in facilitating insight into the right spaces. Find out more at www.appletreelive.com