How To Escape Escapism

Jerry Seinfeld once tweeted ‘where do forest workers go to escape from it all!?’ One of the definitions of escape is - ‘to get free of’ or ‘break away from’ something. We’ve all, at some point, felt that need to escape and just be away from it all - businesses, jobs, relationships, marriages etc. Not so?

Perhaps, however, the only thing we should escape from is escapism itself.

This may just be me, but I find my desire to escape is most heightened when I am bored, un-stimulated, imagining alternate scenario’s I think will be more fulfilling or I am literally just sick and tired. I have found that considering the following questions have helped me escape escapism:

• How energised am I?

When we are low on energy our perspective shifts into negative gear. Escapism becomes tempting. You are responsible for your own energy management - physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I am amazed at how a simple bit of exercise allows me to look at my situation differently and thus approach it in new ways.

• Am I living intentionally??

What we most need to do is also what we are least likely to do. Often when we live in a reactionary way finding ourselves at the mercy of what the environment dishes out to us. With the feeling of lack of time and space, the obvious solution is escape. Wrong. The way out is to be intentional about what we most need to do daily despite whatever habitual patterns or negative cycles it might mean you have to break.

3. Am I connected to the ‘why’

If we are unsure about why we are doing what we are doing we will experience doubt. Why did you start what you did in the first place? What was your vision? In a world where it is so easy to focus on ourselves, being connected to the why helps us focus on others and how we can contribute.

In a nutshell, sometimes the only way around is through. Your context may feel like a trial. That trial could be an opportunity to develop your character as you persevere and try new ways of engaging with whatever is causing your need to escape. It may be preparing you for the next level which requires greater capacity.

All the best escaping escapism.

[Disclaimer: the following article does not mean that you should not leave your current context. Please just consider it before you do!]

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Travis Gale has spent the last 5 years running his own development business in South Africa’s corporate world and is currently involved in various long term partnerships with clients across a number of industries. Furthermore he has travelled to conferences internationally hunting down latest trends and insights. Having cycled around the world and survived a tsunami, his passion for crossing borders often lends itself to an interesting blend of stories and insight. He sees himself as a ‘change catalyst’ and displays strength in facilitating insight into the right spaces. Find out more at www.appletreelive.com

Perspective is an Interesting Concept

Over the past two days I have worked with a great group of people where the topic of perspective was spoken about at length. A bit of context: The company I am partnering has 4 values, one of which is 'PASSION'. We know that a value such as passion can't be taught. In fact we hardly speak about passion. We talk about perspective: Because (positive) perspective determines passion.

Perspective is liberating. Our thoughts and our actions (which end up as reality) are determined by our perspective. It is so easy to slip into a negative perspective. A colleague once said 'Nothing in life has meaning except the meaning that you give it'. What this means is that there is so much which wells beneath the surface when it comes to our perspectives. The more I work with it the more I see the following 3 areas in our lives either breaking perspective down or building it up.

1. Our own self talk
What we tell ourselves determined how we feel about it and what we do about it. Simple! We need to check our own 'internal language' and make sure that we are having positive conversations with ourselves.
• Right now what are you saying to yourself?
• If you had to access your internal conversations with yourself how would you describe your language?

2. Our limiting beliefs
What you have experienced in life has a huge bearing on what your perspective is at any given moment. As we experience life we develop our own lists of 'I can' and 'I can't'. So often the I cant's are simply a perceived reality which is not necessarily true. Anything that begins with an attitude of 'I can't' has already being marked with failure.
• What do you fear most? how real are those fears in reality?
• What can you do today that you would normally shy away from because of perceived beliefs? (do it and watch what happens!)

3. Lack of knowledge
I haven't saved the least for last here. This is one of the easiest to work with. Build knowledge. Lack of knowledge leads to assumption. Assumption and Perspective are enemies!
• What can you read that is relevant to your context in order to build knowledge?
• Who do you need to speak to (what questions do you need to ask) to minimize perceived assumptions that exist?

We all want to feel passionate at the end of the day. Rather than wait on the environment to make you feel that way, why not use your own influence over your own perspective and see what happens.

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Travis Gale has spent the last 5 years running his own development business in South Africa’s corporate world and is currently involved in various long term partnerships with clients across a number of industries. Furthermore he has travelled to conferences internationally hunting down latest trends and insights. Having cycled around the world and survived a tsunami, his passion for crossing borders often lends itself to an interesting blend of stories and insight. He sees himself as a ‘change catalyst’ and displays strength in facilitating insight into the right spaces. Find out more at www.appletreelive.com

Past, Present and Future

Right now where’s your headspace? Past, present or future?

Reading the most common quotes leaves you with an overwhelming sense of encouragement to live in the present. In the now! In leadership, I have come to realise that this balance of engaging with all three of those arenas is a delicate one. I have also come to realise that residing in just one is both impossible and ineffective. So where should our headspace be? When do we give time to history? When do we look ahead to where we are going? When do we engage with the present?

The complexity of this dynamic can be tricky. The beauty, however, is that it gives us the best opportunity to truly lead. Because it’s actually all about context, isn’t it? When we spend time in anyone of these three zones and at the same time completely ignore the other two we enter a danger zone. For example, if your vision yields the history irrelevant, I think you missed it.

You have a vision for what you lead. What you lead has history. What you lead has factors influencing it right now. Plus there’s vision. Enter the tension. Some of it rubs you up the wrong way. Some of it you love. BUT the fact is ‘it’ is bigger than ‘you’. Leading authentically is about engaging with ‘it’ first, then influencing that context with who ‘you’ are. ‘It’ needs you. ‘You’ serve it.

So where does this leave us? Most writings about the present refer to the natural tendency for leaders to worry about the future or dwell in past failures. That does not serve us or our teams. What we need is a different set of questions.

About the past...
• What has added value up until now that we would like to continually develop and leverage off?
• What has been ineffective or potentially damaging that we would like to shift away from?

(Basically what do we need more of and what do we need less of?!)

Let’s jump to the future...
• What could the future look like if what has been working well continues to grow?
• How does who I am & what I bring influence (serve) and enhance (add) to this?

(Basically if this thing grows and my strengths / dreams influence it as well where will we end up?!)

Then, back to the present...
• What do I need to be intentional about today?
• What distractions do I need to avoid?

(Basically how can I best make a difference with the time I have today?!)

‘You’ need to avoid becoming ‘it’ and ‘it’ cannot become ‘you’. If you lead, it means you are not alone. Communicate and ask these questions together. Listen. Learn. Feel it more than you think it. Because if you feel it, you are where you most need to be...

Present.

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Travis Gale has spent the last 5 years running his own development business in South Africa’s corporate world and is currently involved in various long term partnerships with clients across a number of industries. Furthermore he has travelled to conferences internationally hunting down latest trends and insights. Having cycled around the world and survived a tsunami, his passion for crossing borders often lends itself to an interesting blend of stories and insight. He sees himself as a ‘change catalyst’ and displays strength in facilitating insight into the right spaces. Find out more at www.appletreelive.com

Leading with Light

Matthew 5:13-16… You know this passage; it is the one where Jesus talks about us being salt and light. I love this scripture because it echoes a truth about God: He uses the unlikely to display His glory.

In this passage Jesus is speaking life to his disciples. We must understand who these men were because they were far from a qualified bunch. Jesus often got frustrated with them for their lack of understanding as they were ordinary men, with nothing major to show for themselves. In fact, in Acts 4:13, we read that Peter and John were unschooled, ordinary men. So it is these average men that Jesus is saying are the salt of the earth and the light of the world.

I don’t know about you, but I can relate to these guys. Sometimes as a leader I feel very unqualified, very ordinary. I often think if Jesus wanted to use someone to change the world it would not be me!

BUT do you want to know the story of why we are here? Do you want to know why God has given you your leadership gifting?

Here is: We are on a mission from God! Others like the ordinary disciples came before us, others will come after us... But this is our time. Either we are on this mission of continuing his life light through us, through our leadership, or you have no plan and purpose at all! We are ordinary people empowered to change our world...

You and only you may be the only chance that those who you have influence over will have to see the Light that gives life.

Jesus said we are the salt of the earth. Salt brings flavour, it enriches the eating experience! So God is wanting to use us to add flavour to the lives of those we have influence over, to enrich their life experience. We can love unconditionally and serve without agenda. God has placed certain people around you by no accident, and by loving unconditionally and serving without agenda, we can add flavour to their lives.

Jesus also said we are light. He has lit the light in you, and He has placed you on a certain stand (that stand is your family, work, friends…) and HE wants that light in you to shine all around you! Where things are looking dark, you can bring God’s light into others situation through serving, loving and just being present for them. You see, the light is from God, and he is wanting to use us as vessels to shine His light, so that God may be glorified! We can show people a new way of living.

I encourage you, especially as a leader, to be open to him using you. Don’t not cover up His light, or only shine some of the time - God is wanting to use us all the time. Let’s be open to his leading us. Let’s ask him to use us always!
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Don Muller has spent the last 4 years working into corporate and church leadership development and training both locally and internationally. He has a passion for and works towards seeing individuals live out their strengths and calling daily.

The Slob and the Nag

I recently worked with a group of leaders within the retail industry in Johannesburg. I was again reminded of the story of the Slob and the Nag as I worked with them. As always, the model seems to challenge those who hear it.

There was once a psychologist who had a woman come to see him.

“My husband is a slob.” she exclaimed. “He gets home, sits on his lazy boy, drinks his beer and plays with his remote” she continued, visibly frustrated and hurt at the absence of a loving husband.

The psychologist approaches the husband.

“What!” he shouts, “that woman is a nag! she nag’s all the time...” he explains.

The vicious cycle is apparent. The more he slobs the more she nags. The more she nags, the more he slobs. So who must change?

The males usually say the nag and the females say the slob! They eventually settle on the answer that it is in fact both who must change.

My next questions is - ‘who must change first?’

To which we continue our debate on the role of husbands and wives in marriage...

The answer is the nag must change first.

Why?

Because she went to the psychologist in the first place. The nag is the one who is being affected most by the slob nag dynamic between her and her husband. The consequences are therefore greater for her if she does not change. She is affected by the problem.

That is sometimes the upside down nature of leadership. Often there is an issue you face which may be ‘someone else’s fault’. Your logic and your actions are that that person must change. You become the nag and they become the slob. So who must change?

How difficult is it to be the initiator of change in situations where you feel wronged? In those moments you naturally ask yourself why you should change. It simply is not fair.

You change first because you value yourself. You change first because you are affected by the problem and that has consequences for you. You change because no matter what the context you are a leader.

The nag has few choices. Take away the TV. Take away the lazy boy. Have a honest conversation... all of which may yield no results. The trick is to be creative and never stop after one go!

Be creative as you attempt to shift the cycle. But remain positive and keep your eyes on the possibilities. For yourself and for those you impact.

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Travis Gale has spent the last 5 years running his own development business in South Africa’s corporate world and is currently involved in various long term partnerships with clients across a number of industries. Furthermore he has travelled to conferences internationally hunting down latest trends and insights. Having cycled around the world and survived a tsunami, his passion for crossing borders often lends itself to an interesting blend of stories and insight. He sees himself as a ‘change catalyst’ and displays strength in facilitating insight into the right spaces. Find out more at www.appletreelive.com

Consider Yourself Rebellious?

Last year I prepared a teaching on the book of Hebrews. The author of this book is unknown, but what we do know is that is was a letter written to a group of Jewish converts to Christianity. These new Christians were fully aware of the persecution that was imminent due to their decision. Leaving Judaism meant leaving traditions which their entire society was built around, laws, synagogue commitments, prayer commitments, dietary requirements etc... They hadn’t just left a belief system, they had changed their way of life. They were persecuted.

They were rebels...

Hebrews tells us that they would endure anything from public humiliation, public beatings, jail time and confiscation of all their possessions. The temptation was to return to their old ways, to their religion (Judaism) to avoid being persecuted.

The author encourages them to continue to be confident and hold unswervingly onto their hope. He takes 13 chapters to do that in what was a committed attempt underpinned by a deep desire to keep these readers from doing a 180 degree turn. One of his points, in particular, interested me.

The author makes mention (Hebrews 3) of the time that the Israelites spent in the desert. If you remember they were enslaved by the Egyptians. Moses was the hero who went in and did the extraction! Having left Egypt their destination was a land of milk and honey promised to them by God, aptly named the promised land. To get there they had to cross the desert, know as the Sinai today and into modern day Israel. 40 years later, Moses and his entire generation who left Egypt died in the desert, having simply wandered around in circles never to enter into the promised land. Their desert life was routine. God provided food and water daily, as well as a pillar of fire by night and a cloud by day to protect them. They had food, water and shelter. They were comfortable and protected. At one point Moses sends 12 spies to find out what getting into the promised land actually meant. 10 came back saying impossible! The tribes they would have to overcome were made up of monstrous men.

The desert - safe, comfortable, routine and predictable.

Journey to promised land - unknown, risky, adventurous, challenging.

They chose the former. The author of Hebrews refers to a passage of scripture found in psalm 95 where he states the Lord who refers to this time in the desert as the time of the rebellion!

They were rebels...

Two different perspectives! Society labeled the converted Jews as rebellious for leaving the traditions and comforts of Judaism and living a life of risk and potential persecution.

God frustratingly labeled the Israelites who stuck to comfort, tradition and religious mindsets rebellious. Maybe that’s why it is aptly called the Christian faith?

Consider yourself rebellious?

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Travis Gale has spent the last 5 years running his own development business in South Africa’s corporate world and is currently involved in various long term partnerships with clients across a number of industries. Furthermore he has travelled to conferences internationally hunting down latest trends and insights. Having cycled around the world and survived a tsunami, his passion for crossing borders often lends itself to an interesting blend of stories and insight. He sees himself as a ‘change catalyst’ and displays strength in facilitating insight into the right spaces. Find out more at www.appletreelive.com

Is Leadership Lonely?

Have you heard it said that leadership is lonely? I read this week a quote by ML Anderson that said “leaders are called to stand in a lonely place…”

Leadership can be lonely, but as a Christ follower, living out your call as a leader means you never lead alone. We stand with Christ by our side, having access to his love, guidance and LEADING.

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you and watch over you." Psalm 32:8

God is speaking…

Are we listening?

He wants to lead and guide us, he wants to speak to us. But so often we struggle to hear. Sometimes we are hoping that we would hear God’s booming voice loud and clear, telling us what to do.

But maybe we need to try things differently. Maybe God is speaking, but His voice is drowned out by all the noise around us.

1 Kings 19:11-13: "The Lord said, 'Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.' Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, 'What are you doing here, Elijah?'"

We have winds of work and stress, earthquakes of hurry, fires that burn with the desire for instant answers and solutions. But God so often comes as a gentle whisper, and these things drown out His voice. We can so easily miss it if we don’t take a step back, remove the noise and listen for the whisper...

Have you ever taken time out in silence and solitude?

In his book Leading On Empty, Wayne Cordeiro says that there are only four ways to live your life:

1. Reaction – passively dominated by urgencies and pushy people
2. Conformity – succumbing to the fear of man and just being and doing what everyone else wants, which is not necessarily following God’s will for you personally
3. Independence – nonconforming rebellion in the name of freedom, marked by doing only what you want and ignoring godly authority over you
4. Intentionality – reverse-engineering your life and living it prayerfully and purposefully, journaling your thoughts throughout the day, and using silence and solitude to hear from God and organize your life

How are you living your life now? Where would you like to be?

Why not try do things differently from now on. Instead of wanting God to shout above the noise, why not try spend some time and turn off the noise and listen for the whisper...
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Don Muller has spent the last 4 years working into corporate and church leadership development and training both locally and internationally. He has a passion for and works towards seeing individuals live out their strengths and calling daily.