How Much Fun Do You Have?

I am not sure why, but this week I felt compelled to write on fun. I guess you could also call it rest. Those moments when we refuel our energy wells and disconnect from what it is we are constantly applying our focus upon. I remember walking through the streets of Barcelona last year and walking straight into a couple dancing. It was the middle of the day, in the middle of the busy street and this couple just decided to stop and enjoy the music which some buskers were providing.

This picture of rest and fun could possibly be springing to mind given we are now in the middle of April. We have probably all being pretty gung ho as we started 2011, but the big question is:

‘How are you feeling Right Now?’

I recall a story which involved some of our Appletree associates. They got to do some work with a Hospital down on the South Coast of KZN. They enquired as to when the busiest time of the year was for the staff. December and January was the obvious reply, but not for obvious reasons! You would have thought it had to do with road accidents and party related incidents. Actually, this particular time of year was notorious for something called ‘Executive Syndrome’. In a nutshell, the wards would fill up with executives from business as far as Johannesburg with cardiac and organ failure issues. Why? No rest. No Fun. Go Go Go! The entire year was all about pushing through, engaging, working. No break. When the body finally got a small chance it took all the rest it could get.

I feel, at this time of year, it is important for us to reflect on how we are feeling. It is still very possible for us to break any habits we have crept into for the year. I have posted articles before on energy management and re-filling your energy tanks so to speak. In this article I simply want to challenge you to have some fun. Do it right now. This weekend coming up is a long weekend - what are your plans? do they involve fun? will you be resting?

The greatest challenge for us, yet the most rewarding practice we can do is to get out of our heads and into our bodies. Hence the question - how do you feel? Stop with the over thinking, the worry, the anxiety, the responsible you and get out and play.

May you never think of yourself as to old, or to responsible to play, have fun, dance and ultimately... thrive in 2011.

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Travis Gale has spent the last 5 years running his own development business in South Africa’s corporate world and is currently involved in various long term partnerships with clients across a number of industries. Furthermore he has travelled to conferences internationally hunting down latest trends and insights. Having cycled around the world and survived a tsunami, his passion for crossing borders often lends itself to an interesting blend of stories and insight. He sees himself as a ‘change catalyst’ and displays strength in facilitating insight into the right spaces. Find out more at www.appletreelive.com

Fear

I was running a workshop recently where I asked everyone to write down 3 things in their lives that were energizing them and 3 things that were draining them. This proved to be an easy task. I then asked them to think back 6 months, and recall things in their lives that were energizing them and others that were draining them at that stage. They could similarly do the same for a year back.

What we discovered is that in every stage of life there are things that are going well, and there are things that we struggle with. Sometimes we remember the good, sometimes we remember the bad. One lady said to me that 6 months ago she was " gripped by fear" and could not remember any good thing, even though in hindsight there were good things there. In essence, she was oblivious to the good that was present in her life due to being gripped by fear - her focus was on the bad and thus ignoring the good. What we give our attention to will have the greatest effect on our life, and so often our attention in gripped by fear. Fear is defined as: "unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat." Fear can be extremely powerful.

There is a story that speaks of the same thing. Jesus was walking on water towards his disciples. The story goes as follows:

"But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him." (Matt 14:27-31).

The turning point for Peter is when he takes his eyes away from Jesus. When he focusses on Jesus, he does the extraordinary, when he focusses on the storm he is gripped by fear and sinks.

Where are you sinking in your life? As a leader we are in many ways faced with many storms and many opportunities to do the extraordinary. but what are you empowering? Are you focussing on the storm, the struggles, the impossibilities, or are you focussing on your strengths and the opportunities before you?

What we focus on, we empower... What are you giving power to?

Beneath my desk is a grey box

I have a small office space with a wooden desk which I work on. A neatly placed Apple Mac lies on top next to a small pile of papers that are relevant to my current work. An orange ‘Mr Splat’ which is in essence a rubber man who has been squashed so I can lay my coffee cup on it sits next to my desk lamp. A pen rests on ‘post it’ notes that fuel my creativity. A few of my business cards lay neatly stacked with two business cards collected recently in Cape Town placed on top.

BUT

Beneath my desk is a grey box.

The lid of the box has to be encouraged to close. It holds every bit of paper which I still need to file, older business cards I collected, calculator, stapler, relevant cables and the most daunting of all - unopened post - lots of it.

It’s order and chaos in close proximity.

The thing is the grey box is for my eyes only anyway. You may look at the state of my workspace and get an idea of my character and working style.

Point is its not the full picture.

I need to spend time going through the grey box. I find that when there is some structure, some order, it creates space for me to be even more creative and productive. But I ignore it. Despite knowing how important it is, I don’t prioritise it. I just keep going and keep adding. I don’t stop.

Just like I need to spend time going through every file I have dragged off my desktop into the ‘to clear’ folder so you can see the full pic of U2’s stage.

Just like my clean room has built in cupboards...

Just like that ordered, neat image you are projecting has a heart and soul behind it that could be very much like my grey box. Full of a bunch of stuff that needs dealing with.

It’s easier, I know, just to chuck more stuff down there with the intent ‘to clear’ so that the outer picture looks good. It always rises to the surface. My grey box has a certain capacity and one day that one envelop will be too much for the box to carry and the lid won’t close exposing its contents to the world.

Order and chaos in close proximity.

When will you stop in the pace of life and deal with what really counts?

When will you open up the box and clean up the contents, create some order?

I am keen to get to the place, as an entrepreneur, that I can truly say that my desk and the grey box beneath it represent the same person.

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Travis Gale has spent the last 5 years running his own development business in South Africa’s corporate world and is currently involved in various long term partnerships with clients across a number of industries. Furthermore he has travelled to conferences internationally hunting down latest trends and insights. Having cycled around the world and survived a tsunami, his passion for crossing borders often lends itself to an interesting blend of stories and insight. He sees himself as a ‘change catalyst’ and displays strength in facilitating insight into the right spaces. Find out more at www.appletreelive.com

True Assertiveness

I was hiking once with my dad up a particular pass that required us to climb up a chain ladder, a very steep chain ladder. I have always been extremely afraid of heights and the task that lay before me did not excite me in the slightest ... In fact, I was gripped by fear. So much so that I couldn't move. My Dad, understanding my phobia, put his hand on my shoulder, validated my fear and proceeded to explain how he would be right behind me, and that no danger would come my way if I just trusted him.

Sounds like a simple story, but to me I was able to face my fear and conquer a daunting situation thanks to the love, support, encouragement and belief of my Dad. I'm sure that if you had to think about it, you would also come up with a memory of when a parent, coach, sibling or friend did something similar in your life.

What my Dad modeled to me was true assertiveness.

My experience is that assertiveness is one of the most misunderstood and abused leadership tools. We often think it involves being strong, forceful, harsh or direct. It does start with the notion that we need to take people somewhere, but we can either inspire them or force them to move in the required direction. I think so much of assertiveness today, specifically in the corporate space, is about manipulating people. But is this truly leadership? I believe true leadership is about treating people as assets! Leaders don't destroy, they build and develop people.

A leader is a person with clarity, distinctiveness and can take people in the right direction - that is part being assertive!

So how do we achieve this? I believe being truly assertive and inspiring others involves considering two things: point of view (or perspective) and self esteem - for you and those you are leading. My dad understood my perspective of the chain ladder, that I saw an impossible task. He didn't knock my self esteem, but validated my fear. I thus felt safe and valued by him even though I was afraid. He shared his point of view, his direction, his counsel and experience. He was confident that we could both conquer the chain ladder! By him validating my point of view and self esteem made me open and willing to follow his. He didn't have to shout or yell or force me into following his way, he inspired me to.

Imagine if we could do the same with those we lead? Instead of manipulating people, what if we treated them as assets and strived to not destroy, but build and develop them.

In a situation where assertiveness in needed, what if we lead with clarity, distinctiveness and direction, all the while making others feel safe and valued? I think we would make a true difference in the lives of those we lead, just like my dad did in mine.
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Don Muller has spent the last 4 years working into corporate and church leadership development and training both locally and internationally. He has a passion for and works towards seeing individuals live out their strengths and calling daily.

Words on a wall

Lately, I have been noticing what individuals and businesses have on their walls. Most families I noticed have words hanging somewhere, or displayed on a shelf. Words like Love, Adore, Peace, Happiness. Businesses display words, often their values, in bold letters usually in the foyer. On top of that motivational statements & quotes seem to catch the eye as you walk around.

It kinda makes sense I guess. I mean you wouldn’t hang the words ‘hate’ or ‘selfish’ or ‘division’ on your wall now would you? In many ways the words you display are almost ideals. We all want to feel or experience homes and businesses that revolve around the types of words that we put on our walls.

But thats the point. Too often they are simply words on a wall.

Whats important is that the people who inhabit these spaces live out these words. That the couple express love, adoration and peace toward one another. That employees work with ‘care’, have ‘fun’ and display high levels of ‘passion’ and ‘go the extra mile’.

And there is the journey right there. Words on a wall have a next stop. Within the hearts of people who are their custodians. The words on the wall need to end up as words which are believed and desired, aligned with, lived out & expressed in unique and interesting ways.

Then the words on the wall become words on our hearts which become words which reflect the experience we have and that others have of us.

That means they are not just words.

They are actions. They are a way of life. They are destinations within a never ending journey.

Imagine more words left the walls?

Imagine the words that surround you specifically left the walls?

How different would things be?

Words ... get off the wall.

The art of connecting

There is an old saying: To lead yourself, use your head; to lead others, use your heart.
What this saying is articulating is the art of connecting, and it is an extremely powerful leadership principal.

John C Maxwell, one of the most respected leadership gurus around today, has recently written a book entitled “Everyone Communicates, Few Connect”. In the book he argues that the most effective leaders have learned to move from mere communication to truly connecting with those they lead.

In order to understand this concept better, it is essential to identify the difference between communicating and connecting. In a recent workshop I was involved with, we were discussing this idea, and we came up with the following comparison:

Communicating:
• Disconnected from the other person’s emotions
• Is a daily activity
• The objective is to get my point of view across, and thus has a win/lose intent
• Involves passing on information, often by just telling the other party
• Often a set way of doing it and is clinical
• Is verbal (what you say)

Connecting:
• Seek to understand others point of view and emotions
• Relate to others where they are at
• Seeks a win/win outcome
• Seeks to build and facilitate trust
• Engage emotionally
• Involve others through care and help
• Is often non verbal (how you say it and your intent)
• Is a conscious choice, shows intent
• Is often dynamic, not a set way of doing it, and thus involves understanding the other party

A major difference between communicating and connecting is that in connecting you are aware of the other person’s point of view and self esteem. Effective leaders know that they first have to touch people’s hearts before they can ask for their trust and commitment. You can’t move people to action unless you first move them with emotion; the heart comes before the head!

In essence, it is all about the people. In my experience working in a corporate, the most effective leaders were those who really showed a genuine interest in who I was, my dreams and goals, and whose real intent was for me to truly succeed in the organisation. They were leaders that I had a connection with. As a result, I found myself going the extra mile, being positive about my work and the organisation, had a level of trust and felt appreciated. When leaders connect with those they lead, everyone succeeds.

This also reminded me of the way Jesus led. Jesus communicated some of the most powerful words in history, but he was also the master of connecting. He spent time teaching and investing into his twelve disciples. He dedicated His life for others and he displayed unconditional love even to the point of death so that others may live. His selfless devotion and love causes a connection that produces a response.

I’m convinced that those who connect take their relationships, their work and their lives to another level. I encourage you seek to connect and make a difference!
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Don Muller has spent the last 4 years working into corporate and church leadership development and training both locally and internationally. He has a passion for and works towards seeing individuals live out their strengths and calling daily.

My BlackBerry crashed in the early hours of this morning …

My BlackBerry crashed in the early hours of this morning …

If you could extract the ‘blackbox’ it may tell you it was that final app that I tried to download which overloaded it. Or it could have been 22 months of major expectations on its tiny frame, endlessly pushing buttons, checking tweets, updating my status, reading the news, accepting invites on linkedin, receiving mail, sending mail, pushing out texts, long BBM chats, continually receiving BBM group alerts, whats app conversations, checking the weather, managing my tasks, managing my apps – one for london tubes, one for reading the bible, one for finding out what song is on the radio, one for seeing which hotel rooms I can book in the city I am in, one for journalling and of course one for ‘checking in’ so that I can become the mayor. Then of course there was the endless internet browsing, the long nights plugged into 240volts, the GPS navigation and last but not least – phone calls.

And it crashes?!

So if one word had to describe my day without it it would be …

SPACE!

I realised just how much I was allowing myself to be connected to.

This is not an anti BB or Iphone post! Fact is I love them both dearly.  And yes, I could just turn it off! In fact, the major source of stress for me lately was deciding what to do on my upgrade. Today I have been dragging around my old nokia which has to have its battery taped in cause the back cover is warped. I was probably leaning toward the Iphone but this decision has become as important as how I should invest my money.

I said I would never check email after 5pm, but there was something alluring about that little yellow envelop sitting sitting staring at me. Often the top of the screen would be littered with all sorts of little notifications. People who I knew and some who I don’t offering conversation and insight.

I guess we choose what we will be connected to. Today the options seem limitless. Perhaps though all of these connections simply rob us of being connected to ourselves and what is important to us.

What really counts?

What could you be more connected to?

What do you need to disconnect from?

This crash is yielding questions which will influence my future.

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Travis Gale has spent the last 5 years running his own development business in South Africa’s corporate world and is currently involved in various long term partnerships with clients across a number of industries. Furthermore he has travelled to conferences internationally hunting down latest trends and insights. Having cycled around the world and survived a tsunami, his passion for crossing borders often lends itself to an interesting blend of stories and insight. He sees himself as a ‘change catalyst’ and displays strength in facilitating insight into the right spaces. Find out more at www.appletreelive.com